10/17/11

(nap) i was in a room wth tara and allison and a bunch of people and they were talking about only bringing sleeping bags to this outdoor festival where marijuana is present. they were saying how it would causethem to find other artistic outlets-whatever is available. or maybe i thought it in my dream? i was thinking about how id want to bring my camera but then i was like no youd justy have to internalize memories and howe id want to bring ba sketch pad or something but iwas like no its important to try new things. then we were watching tv or something? there was a close upof a guy and a girl at the end of some bleachers with a bunch of people and it zoomed in on the guy puting out a roach on the seat but then one was burning and the camera stayed on it forever and i was all like thanks for the close up so we could watch it burn drr. then there was an announcer voce talking about bubbles and we saw a tray full of goodies and products and there was a tny pretty little marijuana lant with leaves and roots and the pretty girl carrying the tray was holding it in between fer pointer and thumb so no one would snatch it and there must have been edible weed bubbles or something?

two nights ago i had a dream that i was hugging dux. i hugged him and let all my weight fall onto him, but he pointed out that i was still holding on to something with one of my hands to hold myself up and i wasn't completely relaxed. there was another part where i was taking some sort of driving test and there were a whole bunch of pencils some said st elizabeth on them and i was going to take one, or maybe a pen or something. another part lauren was driving a bunch of people in a car.

three nights ago part of my dream was at christ, it was tyler moores wedding or something and his girlfriend was on her period so instead of sitting around with nothing to do on their honeymoon they had a bunch of people to hang out. we were all sitting on top of this 2nd ceiling that was hanging down from the real celing? or maybe it was the ceiling? it was dark bluish greenish and moving like waves, there was a whole line of people sitting on it, it was pretty dark and suddenly the whole thing started ripping out of the walls, the ceiling started collapsing and i was screaming for everyone to run. there was asbestos in the buidling materials so i was trying not to breathe i think. and then i was outside on the side of the church where we used to leave after sunday school and i was washing my hands or something maybe? and when i squeezed the soap through my hands it came out saying "Fuck you" and i was asking someone about it because i thought it was from the devil or something. there was something with a cloth diaper too. it was sunny.

there was another part where i was riding in a car with someone and trying to smoke out of a huge bong, i could see the green weed smoldering in the bowl, but it was blowing out because we were moving. we pulled up in front of a building downtown somewhere.

there was another part where i was at a dance at scott, i think there were old people there from middle school maybe? but i can't remember who now. grizzo and i got in a fight and we were screaming at eachother and physically fighting with eachother, we were running after eachother and i took of my shoe to throw at him or hit him or something.

night of 9/19/11

there was a part where i was wrapping up a package to send to carlos. there was a navy blue pair of underwear that i didn't want to send because i thought it might be embarassing that he left them or something. i cant remember what else was in it. there was another part where i was in a school and i was trying to figure out which class i was supposed to be in, i walked by classrooms for different ages including one for young kids...there was something about colors purple and blue maybe. there were schedules written on the wall, for example if you have id cards number blank through number blank you are in this class at this time. but i realized i didn't have my id card (acu id card) and i needed to go get a new one. i wandered into one classroom and there were stacks of magazines on a desk in front and i started looking through them, there were cracked out pictures, people with more than one nipple on each boob, lined up on top of eachother, a baby that was all squished in the fetal position but then when it opened its legs it had this huge glowing alien hole in it. there was another part where kids were skiing down a hill onto a wooden floor, it was a part of acu or something.

the other night i had a dream that coach ftb was showing me around her house. her house was actually a castle built right on the edge of a body of water. as we walked i noticed random bras and panties (ugly grandma ones) hanging in the little spots of sunlight that filtered down through the tall walls. she brought me to my room, and on my bed was cleaning stuff. detergent maybe, the little packet kind? i think it was one of those chair beds, all i know is it was stacked with cleaning stuff. the wall had a bookshelf from floor to ceiling, you could slide the shelves like a sliding closet door and they overlapped eathother. the other side of the room was painted in a "hippie" theme with peace and love and bright colors and flowers and stuff. it was like a little girls room. there were people painted too. there was a loft with life size sculptures of all the characters and a scene from baby blues. they were made of paper mache or cardboard or something, painted and colorful. i wondered in my dream if they had been part of some exhibit, or why someone would go to all the trouble to create them.

night of 1/21/11

i knooow i had like a zillion crazy dreams last night but right now all i can remember is that there were two seperate times, where right before i woke up micah sirek had given me a kiss. There was also a part where bryan and i were having sex or something, he was all wrapped around me and squishing me and i was screaming at him to get off because of the baby, i was poking and scratching and hitting him but he wouldn't listen. annnd that's all i can remember for now.

night of 1/20/11

i know i woke up a few times during the night so i had lots of crazy dreams but i can't remember too much...i do remember a part where i was at lincoln lutheran and someone had flushed my gym clothes down the toilet in the hs locker room. i came in and saw them and started bawling because apparently i had been bullied or something and it was the final straw. i made my way to blank's office in tears and i know i walked by a few people outside the office but i'm not sure who, i remember seeing him but i don't know if i actually went in or not. at some point i went back to the locker room and fished my clothes out of the toilet hole, for some reason they had blood all over them.

There was another part where i was at Grandma's house...again....and LeAnn was being terrible to everyone there. She kept screaming like a mad woman at people for no reason, at one point she literally got in Beckie's face and screamed at her for setting the wrong drinks on the table...i walked over and realized the she had simply reversed a beer and a tomato juice and a cup of coffee or something...they were right next to eachother but at the wrong spot (at the end of the table facing the kitchen). She had yelled at someone else too, finally i screamed at her to stop it or something. i think my mom or dad or both were sitting on the couch

night of 1/19

i feel like i woke up a few times last night, but i can't remember for sure. I know i looked at my phone at 6am, my dad was outside scooping the driveway and i think i must have heard him. At some point i was having a super scary dream, i feel like i may have woken up startled and gasping for breath...but i don't know if that really happened or if i just felt that way in the dream.

There was one part where i was over at caroll's house, or maybe michelle's or something (i didn't recognize the place) and we were having dinner and i asked if my brother could come but when i called him he asked if adrian could come too. i hadn't eaten anything yet but i sat there and watched as they finished almost all of the chicken, and stared at me without giving my brother permission to come, so finally i was like well i don't want to eat all of your food (even though i hadn't eaten any) so i guess i'll leave. First i stayed and helped them put away the dishes. I think caroll was helping too but i don't think we talked.

i can't remember very much, maybe i'll remember more later. i know there was a random part where my grandma duncan walked in, she had stopped by our house on her way from somewhere i think, i think her hair was wet because she had taken a shower.

night of 1/18/11

I know there was definitely a part where i was at Grandma and Grandpa's house, i can't remember who was all there but Brittany was...and there was another part where i was walking with someone (beckie?) through suburban neighborhoods, and finally we came to a house on the corner, carrie and terry's, and i think carrie came outside. Then i was in a van or something with another mom driving kids to school, and we figured out that there was a main street running close by that would take us straight there or something? i can't remember much, i know there more details, possibly even street names.

The final part i remember right before i woke up was a scene in "Grandma and Grandpa's basement" (it wasn't really) but there was a pool table. I was there with Adam Sandler, and each of us had a cylendar glass with drinks in them, i think they were clear. Suddenly our faces were very close and we started kissing, and i remember moving the drinks over on the pool table so we wouldn't knock them over. I could tell in my dream that i was drunk, everything was all blurry as i was kissing him. He was doing this little circle tongue thing and i was giggling and doing it back. It was all very sensual, he ran his fingers over one of my boobs and in my dream i was like omg that felt amazing because i don't have a bra on, only a shirt, and also dang another guy that has to get used to my tiny boobs. Pretty soon he had a boner and he positioned himself so that he could ram it into my leg...i woke up in my dream and i woke up at a desk in a classroom and all the kids were laughing. There was a christmas tree right next to my desk with drawn pictures on it of the things that were happening in my dream with adam, i don't know if i drew them or if i was talking in my sleep and the kids drew them. Adam was standing in front of my desk, he was the teacher.

night of 1/17/11

so my dream started with alli, lisa, and i going on a shopping trip to yonkers. without saying, we all made our way toward the baby section. in my dream i was only looking at little boy things, but then i was like this is silly. the doctor hasn't told me for sure that its a boy! lisa and alli were over looking at a rack of pastel stuffed puppies. at one point i accidentally wandered into a whole aisle of teddy bear clothes, and i was like yikes and a couple mexican men were walking by and i was embarrassed that they saw me in the baby-rather bear clothes section. i spend too long looking at clothes, i wandered over to a table full of childrens books that were all on sale for 2 or 3 dollars (the clothes were all on sale for like 75% off too) i was flipping through one that looked like it could be for boys. Then there was some raffle drawing going on. A man had a big basket full of plastic eggs and he would draw one out and call a number and someone would win something...i'm not even sure what. but he had a microphone and he was located not far from the baby section. he did one drawing and then it was time for another, honestly i'm not even sure how the drawing worked-did people keep the slip of paper and return the empty egg? or did they just look at their number and put the egg with the paper back? anyway there were lots of people hanging around to be a part of it. at one point i remember him drawing a red egg.

Then somehow i think we may have taken a buss or something to nashville? except i feel like we were in kentucky...but lisa and alli were there, i think it may have been a class trip. for some reason i hadn't brought my phone or money so i was going to try to stick close to them. we started wandering around the street, and of course we got seperated. i went into a souvenir shop dedicated entirely to elvis...but of the merchandise, mostly tshirts and things, were marked with some kind of logo like "eking" or something...and it took me a second to figure out what it meant. i think my mom was there on the trip too somehow. i must have met up with lisa and alli again for a moment because we went somewhere to get food, but of course i didn't have money so lisa was going to cover me. but she just bought me a giant frozen dr pepper or something and i was like lisa, i'm hungry i need food! she had just gotten a drink too.

i can't remember if this happened next or not but somehow it was night and i had lost my shoes and i was walking around barefoot. i ended up at a nasty ass bar and there were people hanging around outside, one girl was sitting on this giant red barrel thing that was just a giant hole in the ground and she was sitting there peeing in the middle of the parking lot as though it were an enclosed outhouse, it was super loud too because the hole must have been so deep. my feet were terribly dirty and smudged and i got a tiny piece of glass in my toe so i propped my foot up on the handle of a giant dumpster next to the building and was trying to pick it out but i kept picking at the wrong spot. suddenly a black (or black and white?) cat jumped from behind the dumpster and attacked my arm. at first i was worried i'd get rabies or something, but i think i was wearing a leather jacket or something and he didn't break the skin. so finally i went inside, even though i didn't have shoes (no shoes was the reason i was hanging out in front in the first place) somehow i think i had my id, and i might have even had my wallet at this point, actually i know i did because it was full of strange looking bills. on one side they looked like regular u.s. dollars but the other they had a picture of something in the center in a variety of colors and the rest of the space was rather plain. a girl offered to split a pitcher of margaritas with me, the lady showed us that each pitcher contained 4 servings, or 2 servings each of their smaller sized drink serving glasses. the price was eight dollars or something but i gave the girl 3 dollar bills. at some point i showed her that i didn't have shoes on and she and her friends (1 or 2 others) thought it was funny. we went to a back room...it was pretty small, covered in red velvet carpet on the floors walls chairs, i think. we sat down and there were a few other groups of friends gathered around a large table that lined the center of the room. i can't remember for sure but i think the girls friends were pretty drunk, or something because they were acting pretty out of it. i can't even remember if we poured the margaritas or not, i think people may have been smoking cigarettes...and then i looked over and realized that the people next to us had a mirror and a little card or something and were snorting lines of something off of it. immediately i thought cocaine and i started getting more freaked out about where i was and how trashy and skanky it was. for some reason i remember a red lipstick kiss somewhere, and it was crazy because there was some sort of bar tender or employee at least in the back room and she was standing there totally aware that people were snorting coke and she didn't seem to care. i dont' remember how or when i left.

right before i woke up, i was dreaming that i was going to tell alli about my dreams? but i was like mine will take longer so you go first, and i can't remember if it was a dream or if it really happened, but she was playing a song for me that greg had written for her. it sounded really cool in the beginning, probably more like pringle (maybe because i listened to h&g yesterday?) but anyway i think it was some sort of song trying to get her back.